Self Improvement

This Too Shall Pass: Why a Peaceful Life is Found in Impermanence

Steve Bloom 4 Comments

This Too Shall Pass

In ancient Persia, a sultan called upon all his wisest men and asked them if there was a mantra he could follow that would help him get through any situation, no matter the time or place, in every joy and sorrow, defeat and victory.

After thinking for a long time on such a puzzling question, the wise men gave the sultan a ring with an inscription on it. They advised him to not look at it until he was in desperate need.

Some time later, a neighboring kingdom attacked and the sultan was forced to flee with the remnants of his army until he was trapped at the end of a road by a deep valley. As he heard his enemies approaching, he fell into deep despair over the hopeless situation.

Then he remembered the ring. He looked down at it to the inscription which read:

“This too shall pass.”

The message affected him greatly. As he thought about it, he calmed down and waited to see if his enemies would discover his whereabouts. Eventually the noise of horses receded and disappeared. The danger had passed.

The sultan immediately regrouped his forces and fought bravely in a counterattack. Eventually he overtook his enemies and regained his empire.

Upon his arrival, the people greeted him as a hero. Flowers showered on him from every house; people danced joyously.

Looking over such a happy occasion, the sultan thought to himself, “I am one of the greatest people alive. No one can defeat me.” As the celebration continued around him, his vanity and ego grew larger.

Suddenly, he remembered the ring with its inscription. He looked down at it again and read it:

“This too shall pass.”

And he realized this celebration is only temporary. He relaxed once again and let his vanity fade into a state of humbleness. Because good times may be temporary, he greeted everyone with a newfound sense of gratitude, resolving to enjoy this moment for as long as it lasts.

Life is Constantly in Flux – All Things Will Pass

This story ties in with a Buddhist concept called “impermanence.” It’s the idea that everything we experience is simply a series of moments. All of existence is in a constant state of flux – nothing is fixed, only temporary.

Rather than seeing our life as one long story arc, “impermanence” sees everything as a constant series of changes.

Life is always evolving. Even around us, things that seem permanent such as mountains are actually going through constant changes as the teutonic forces underneath move and reshape its size and structure.

The idea of impermanence is difficult for some people. Change isn’t always easy to go through and if every moment is only temporary, then nothing – even good times – can last forever.

But there’s a beauty to the idea of impermanence captured by this story. When you accept the idea that “this too shall pass”, you can live a more peaceful life.

When Things Are Going Bad

In the story, the sultan reached one of the lowest points in his life when he was surrounded by his enemies and his empire was on the brink of destruction.

But when he looked at his circumstances as something that was only temporary, he realized that this situation, with all his fear and dread, would somehow eventually end. It could not possibly last forever.

When heartbreak or loss happens in our own lives, we can be too quick to think of it as something permanent. Whether you lost your job, ended a relationship or your college application was rejected, you get caught up in how bad everything is going right at that moment.

It might seem as if you’re stuck, unable to move ahead.

But it’s important to remember that “this too shall pass”. Bad moments don’t last forever. Whether it takes days, weeks or even a few years, eventually circumstances and situations change and difficult situations and hardships get left in the past.

Sometimes that little reminder – “it’s only temporary” – is just what you need to help you get through difficult times.

When Life is Going Well

Focusing on impermanence isn’t just important for bad times though. It’s just as useful for when things are going really well.

After the sultan conquered his enemy and returned victorious to his empire, he was surrounded by a magnificent celebration in his honor. This fueled his ego with vanity and hubris until he looked at the ring and realized that “this too shall pass.”

Here, his problem wasn’t adversity; it was about tempering his own self-image to the good fortune going on around him.

When things are going well for us, we can often let it get to our heads. We grow overconfident and take our situations for granted. By reminding yourself that good times are also temporary, it helps you remember to cherish them.

If you’ve ever loved someone and lost them, then you realize how easy it is to take them for granted.

If you’ve ever had good times come to an end, you know how much you should have spent appreciating and enjoying them.

When the sultan recognized the impermanence of this celebration – and that the future might reverse his good fortune – he let go of his ego so he could make way for gratitude.

By recognizing the impermanence of good times, you remind yourself to see how lucky you are. When you know good times can come to an end, you can’t afford to take anything for granted. It helps you enjoy the time you have and feel more grateful for each good moment that comes your way.

Unlike the sultan, none of us need a ring with this inscription. By just reminding ourselves that “this too shall pass”, we put perspective on the good and bad times in our lives and bring a little more peace to each moment.

7 Reasons Why Helping Others Will Make You Live a Better Life

Steve Bloom 13 Comments

Helping Others

A few years ago, while I was teaching a writing class abroad in Morocco, one of my student’s parents asked to talk to me. She noticed her son had made major progress in his writing and wanted to let me know she appreciated my effort to make the work fun and engaging.

Her appreciation was so sincere and her gratitude so heartfelt that it still gives me a warm feeling just thinking about it.

I don’t know if I’ve ever been so satisfied with anything I’ve done before or since that moment. To know that your work means so much to someone else made me understand the value that comes from helping other people.

The experience also made me realize that helping other people is an important part of living a good life.

Now, just to be clear, I’m not an idealist who thinks that love and charity alone is all that matters. I still make decisions based upon my self-interest.

What I’m saying is that helping others should be done as much as possible. Looking for ways to help others doesn’t just have a positive impact on the people you’re helping, it’s good for everyone. We should want to help others succeed in life because that, in turn, helps ourselves.

Here’s why:

1. It makes you happy: the science of a “helper’s high”

Most of us want to feel like our lives mean something – that we’re making a positive difference in the world. So it’s not surprising that several studies have shown how helping others can boost our sense of happiness.

  • One study showed that helping others through volunteer work increased levels of happiness in the participants.
  • In another study, people were given money to either spend on themselves or give to charity. Those who gave to charity felt happier.
  • Happy workers are more likely to report that they regularly help others.
  • Some studies have shown that children under the age of two report being happier when they give treats away rather than receiving treats themselves.

Scientists have been studying a phenomenon called “helper’s high”: helping others releases endorphins which, in turn, improves mood and boosts self-esteem. In short, helping others feels good. It’s possible that helping others does more for the happiness of the person helping than the person who receives the help.

2. It builds stronger social connections to friends and community

Helping others isn’t a one way street where you do something good for someone and then you both go about your way. When you’ve touched someone’s life in a positive way, you feel connected to them; it’s a bonding experience. It builds trust through cooperation which not only brings them closer to you, it brings you closer to them.

When you choose to help others, especially if it’s face to face, you’re entering their lives in a positive way, reinforcing social connections as you go.

It reminds me of that student’s mother I met. If I hadn’t helped her son so much, I would never have met her – she’d have no reason to meet me. Because of my actions, I made another positive connection to the people around me.

3. You adapt better to stress and adversity by building resilience

It may seem strange, but helping others doesn’t add more stress to your life, it actually helps us manage stress better.

In one study, college students took an immersion trip where they helped the poor. Those who took this trip were assessed months later and were found to manage stress and adversity much better than their peers.

Why is that?

It’s about perspective. By looking at the challenges of others’ lives, you can take that point of view into your own. It makes you more accepting of the stress and hardships we all have to face.

Sometimes we lose that perspective in a culture obsessed with celebrities living glorified lives, seemingly carefree. But helping others takes us back to reality by reminding ourselves that most people struggle – and that it’s ok if we do too.

4. It’s good for your career

There are many factors to think about when trying to find a satisfying career: autonomy, creative freedom and meaning are a few examples. But one of the biggest things to consider is how your work impacts others.

People who work as a medical professional, psychologist, religious figure or firefighter often give high ratings of job satisfaction. The connection between all of these professions is that they all help people on a regular basis.

Those who are happiest in their job, more committed and less likely to quit make it a priority to help others – either co-workers or customers.

Even if your job doesn’t deal with people directly, it can help to think about how your work helps people in some way. By taking time to think about what you do and how it helps people in some capacity, you’ll feel better about it – even if it’s just a little.

5. It’s good for business

What’s the goal of a business? One answer might be making money by selling a product or service. Yes, that’s true. But I’d take it a step further: businesses make money by finding ways to help people.

Look at these examples:

Google was created to make searching the internet easier and faster, with better results.

Gyms earn money by providing a place to exercise.

Uber is trying to make on-demand car service better.

Amazon simplified online buying and selling so it’s easier.

Businesses often seem shady because they’re seen as money-driven. The image of a corporate raider using sneaky tactics to weasel their way through a system is commonplace, and there is some truth to it. Not all companies help others – cigarette companies for example.

But the companies that do best, focus on helping others and solving their problems. Both Steve Jobs and Henry Ford revolutionized the world by solving problems people didn’t even realize they had. Businesses that solve problems in the best and cheapest way will win – and we win right along with them.

6. Better health; it can make you live longer

If you want to live longer, be a giver. At least that’s the conclusion of a huge study on volunteer work. The link between better health and helping others is striking.

  • It lowers rates of depression and puts you in a better mood.
  • It lowers your risk of dying by at least 22%.
  • It’s good for your mental health.

The researchers were careful to not draw conclusions about why helping others is so good for health, but it probably has something to do with the social contact we make while doing it.

We’re hardwired for social interactions which includes a lot of touch, eye contact and smiles. Such interactions release a hormone called Oxytocin which helps us bond and care for others and helps us manage stress. Not only that, but doing good makes us happier which, in turn, makes us healthier.

7. It can help you find meaning in your life

There’s a link between helping others and finding meaning in your life. And it’s not just those who have already found purpose giving back. Instead, helping others can actually CREATE a sense of meaning in our lives.

Helping others fulfills some of our most basic needs such as connecting with others and seeing how your actions make a positive difference. Those are the areas that help define a meaningful life.

The idea that there is a link between a meaningful life and helping others is actually a rather old one. Carol Ryff, a psychologist, reviewed the writings of numerous philosophers and thinkers throughout history and found one overarching ideas: that helping others is “a central feature of a positive, well-lived life.”

A meaningful life isn’t found, but created through our actions. And it starts with looking for ways to help others.

Stop Worrying About Making the Right Decision

Steve Bloom 5 Comments

Stop Worrying About Making the Right Decision

Through the course of our lives, we’re confronted with a lot of big decisions. Who should I marry? Should I quit the job I don’t like or stay in it? What major do I want to pursue in college?

We worry about such decisions because they have a huge impact on our lives. The major you pick in college will influence the jobs you can get. Marrying someone means making a serious commitment.  We want to make sure we make the right decisions.

When it comes to making the right decision, I’ll be going over two major points in this post.

  1. Why spending a lot of effort finding the “right” decision is usually a waste of time (and can actually make your decision worse).
  2. What you should do instead of worrying about making the “right” decision.

Is there a “Best” Choice?

Think back to a big decision you’ve had to make in the past – one you worried about. With a wealth of information online you probably looked up everything you could, spending hours digging up every scrap of data.

Most people assume that more information is better. The more informed you are, the better decision you’ll make, right?

Well, it’s actually the opposite. More information often makes decision-making harder and leads to more mistakes.

Here’s an example to consider: let’s say you’re offered a job which requires you to move to across the country.

So you look online to compare your current city to the new one. You consider things like: weather, traffic, cost of living, entertainment, culture, festivals, museums, sports teams, the dating pool, parks, airports, the cost of the move, the crime rate, the pros and cons of the new job, leaving friends and family behind.

Then maybe you start to consider a third option of applying to a job somewhere else and, by this point, it has become a confusing mess.

Here’s why looking at all that information weakens your ability to make a good decision.

1. When we make decisions, we compare bundles of information (in the case above it’s the pros and cons of moving). So a decision is harder if the amount of information you have to juggle is greater because you can’t keep track of it all.

2. The brain pays more attention to the most recent information and discounts what came earlier (It’s called the “recency effect”). This means your mind puts more weight on the last bits of information which are usually the least important.

3. When you keep collecting information, your mind doesn’t get the time it needs to process it all. It can’t just sit back and let it sink in.

Worse yet, putting pressure on yourself to make the right choice can increase anxious feelings about it. The greater the pressure, the bigger the fear of making the wrong decision.

And when you do finally make your decision, you’ll be less happy about it. Here’s why:

Over-worrying about a decision puts too much focus on finding the “best choice”. This makes it harder to fully commit to the choice once it’s been made because there will always be some doubt left over; the mind will question if it was good or not. All this second-guessing makes it hard to be satisfied and happy with it.

There’s a big flaw in trying to find the “best” choice. Most decisions have good and bad aspects to them. Time spent eliminating the ones you definitely know are wrong is good. But after that, more information won’t help.

Rather than seeing decisions as good or bad, see them as a spectrum of possibilities. There is no right or wrong, just different outcomes.

“If you obsess over whether you are making the right decision, you are basically assuming that the universe will reward you for one thing and punish you for another…There is no right or wrong, only a series of possibilities.” – Deepak Chopra

What to Do Instead of Looking for the “Right” Decision

Here’s what Scott McNealy, CEO and co-founder of Sun Microsystems, said about decisions in a lecture:

“It’s important to make good decisions. But I spend much less time and energy worrying about ‘making the right decision’ and much more time and energy ensuring that any decision I make turns out right.”

Worrying about the right decision puts too much emphasis on the moment of choice. But the time after you’ve made the choice is a lot longer – and often more important.

Don’t worry so much on making the “right” decision. Spend more time making sure the decision you make turns out right.

Because here’s the truth:

You can spend hours, days or even months trying to make the right decision by researching every piece of information you can find and analyzing every potential angle – and it can still fail.

It’s also true that a mediocre decision can turn out well, with enough effort to make it work.

The decision you make matters less than the follow through. Instead of finding the “right” decision, focus your efforts on what happens after the decision has been made.

9 Things People Who Love Their Lives Do Differently

Steve Bloom 3 Comments

Loving Life

“Your mission: Be so busy loving your life that you have no time for hate, regret or fear.” – Karen Salmansohn

I love the way this quote describes loving life as a “mission”. This word infuses the search for a life you love with the sense of purpose and importance it deserves. Building a life you love isn’t something we should do as a side project when there’s time; it should be a big reason to make changes and improve ourselves.

In some respects, loving life has been my mission ever since I started this blog. Rather than greet the new day with indifference, my mission was to be excited to see the rising sun each morning and reach a point where I’m grateful simply to be alive.

Due to the ever-changing circumstances of life, I don’t think there will ever be an end to this mission. But I’ve learned a lot of lessons along the way.

Are you ready to accept your mission? Here’s where to get started.

1. They learn to set boundaries with others and create possibilities for themselves

Healthy boundaries define who you are in relation to others. Setting clear expectations about what you accept and tolerate can define how others treat you. It’s important to set these boundaries in order to allow yourself room and freedom to grow as an individual.

Learn to be selective and say no. Turn down requests for your time that are unwanted and unimportant. Set clear boundaries for unacceptable behavior. People often just treat you the way you let them.

But at the same time you’re saying no to others, it’s important to say yes to yourself. Those ideas and grand plans you imagine will never become real unless you give yourself permission to do them; no one else will come along and say “yes” to your ideas – just you.

People who love their lives don’t let those ideas simmer and stew in their heads until they’re crushed under the weight of fear and doubt, they find reasons to do them. They say “yes” to themselves.

2. “Be like water” – be flexible and adapt to your many roles

“You must be shapeless, formless, like water. When you pour water in a cup, it becomes the cup. When you pour water in a bottle, it becomes the bottle. When you pour water in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Water can drip and it can crash. Become like water my friend.” – Bruce Lee

I’m not the same person I was five or ten years ago. As life has progressed, I’ve changed and adapted to new situations and circumstances.

But I’m not exactly the same person from moment to moment either. I take on many different roles throughout the day – husband, father, writer, son, friend, citizen, traveler – each one requires me to play a slightly different part with different expectations and codes of conduct.

Times change. Situations change. People change. All life is change.

An inability to adapt to these changes can be frustrating and lead to anger as you struggle against the new situation in front of you. “Be like water” as Bruce Lee put it, being adaptable enough to fit into the changes that will surely come.

3. They eliminate the excess to make room for what’s important

Our lives are constrained by one overwhelming limitation: time. We only have 24 hours in a day to live our lives. It’s important to take a step back and think about how we fill that time up.

If you’re filling that time with unwanted tasks, you’re taking time away from something you might love to be doing.

If you’re spending that time with toxic relationships, you’re taking time away from positive ones.

The world is a pretty demanding place – filled with tasks and decisions, stuff to do and people to see – some of those might not really add much value to your life. If you trim away the unimportant, you make room for the beautiful life you have hidden underneath.

A good life isn’t often about having more, it’s about having less. When you eliminate things like unnecessary tasks or toxic people – things that don’t add value – you’ll find more time for the things that bring joy into your life.

4. They focus on what matters – Don’t see the forest for the trees

A few days ago my wife and I brought food home from a restaurant. When we looked through it, we realized that the order was messed up – some items were missing. We were so angered and frustrated that it started to ruin our evening.

Then we realized the food was only a little detail to our night. It wasn’t the big picture – it wasn’t even the most important part of the picture.

What mattered most was having dinner with someone I love – the conversation, the affection, the good moment we were sharing. That’s what I should have been focusing on.

It’s often said that it’s the little things in life that make you happy. But the opposite can also be true. LIttle things can make us angry – angry enough to make us lose sight of what truly matters. Don’t let the focus on little details make you miss the important things happening around you.

5. They don’t let others’ expectations define what a good life is

How do you measure a life? Success? Money? Fame? What exactly is the yardstick we should be using?

Perhaps the answer to a good life is one that makes you happy. But that just begs the question: what makes you happy?

Defining a good life means figuring out the things that bring you joy and purpose and meaning. It’s a personal discovery that takes into consideration our own values and desires.

Others might try to tell you what it is or set expectations on you. They’ll try to convince you what you should or shouldn’t be doing with your life, but they can’t make that decision for you – it’s too personal. Ultimately, how to define a good life is something we all need to decide for ourselves.

6. They explore their own mortality so they can learn how to live

“The truth is, Mitch, once you learn how to die, you learn how to live…Most of us walk around as if we’re sleepwalking. We really don’t experience the world fully because we’re half asleep, doing things we automatically think we have to do…Learn how to die, and you learn how to live.” – from Tuesdays With Morrie

To many people, death is a topic to avoid, an uncomfortable reminder of our own frail existence. Most people ignore or make jokes about it because it’s too depressing. But this way of thinking conceals something useful from thinking about death: motivation to live.

People who are close to death often reflect on life and think about what really matters to them. They become emotionally and intellectually aware of their actions, desires and motivations to a point when all the nonsense from daily life strips away and they’re left with more focus on what truly matters.

When you think about your own mortality, you’ll start asking questions.

What kind of life do you want to leave behind?

What will really matter to you at the end of your life?

When the end is near, will you be happy with what you’ve been doing?

Perhaps what makes death so hard to talk about is that it forces you to confront these questions. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather think about them now, when there’s more time to do something about it.

7. They value process over goals

It’s important to have goals. When you set your mind to reaching one, it adds motivation to your actions and drive to your willpower.

But there’s a dark side to goal-setting. For one thing, it’s too focused on the future; everything you do today is dedicated to something far away in time that hasn’t even happened yet. That takes you out of the present and puts all the emphasis in the future.

That can be disheartening. If you put all your effort and focus on where you’re not, you start to think about what you don’t have and what you haven’t accomplished yet.

People who love their lives don’t abandon goals altogether. They just use them to emphasize what they do every day. They use it to set a routine for their lives because they know that life isn’t lived in the future where goals are set, but in the daily routine they live.

8. They make the hard choices and accept that life is about tradeoffs

No one has it all. Time and energy are in limited supply. At some point, we need to take a hard look into our lives and make a decision about what we really want and that means thinking about what sacrifices we’re willing to make.

Getting rid of a toxic friend means breaking off years of shared memories. Working on a Master’s degree means giving up free time you could dedicate elsewhere. Moving to a new city for an opportunity can mean leaving some good things behind.

Every choice comes with consequences – some good, some bad. There’s always a tradeoff to consider, even if it’s just time or energy.

Loving your life means making choices and accepting the good and bad that come with them. It’s about accepting the possibility that your choices might not turn out well. But loving life is about looking at those all those choices, both the good and bad, and understanding them as what they are – imperfect decisions in an imperfect world.

It’s the choices we make that define our lives and give them their unique shape. We should never be afraid to make the hard ones. In the end, it’s the hard ones that we learn from most and give meaning to our lives.

9. Being thankful for what you have, especially your strengths

Many of us have heard about the benefits of gratitude. Being thankful for what you have instead of focusing on what you don’t have builds a happy frame of mind and makes us appreciate all the things going right in our lives.

Spending time on feeling grateful can be an uplifting experience. It can turn a downcast state of mind into something upbeat and positive.

But when I do this, I like to focus on my strengths in particular rather than just what I’m thankful for in general.

Ask yourself: What are you good at? What do you do really well?

By thinking of your strengths, you bring attention to the empowering areas of your life. Not only do you feel good about yourself, but you can focus on how to put them to use.

People who try using their strengths in new ways each day are happier and have higher self esteem because they’re always putting their best foot forward. Those who are lucky or successful in life aren’t good at everything, they just know those certain areas that they do well and focus their efforts on them to build the life they want.

Walt Disney’s Magical Strategy for Being Excellent in Everything

Steve Bloom 10 Comments

Walt Disney Plussing It

Disney is one of history’s greatest innovators. He was the first person to add sound and color to his animated films. While everyone else was making cartoon shorts, he dared to make a full-length animated movie, Snow White, which turned into a massive hit.

When he made Bambi, he took it even further. In order to draw realistic-looking animals, he hired an expert on anatomy to teach the animators. Then he actually created a small zoo on the studio lot so they could observe animals directly.

Still unsatisfied, he paid photographers to go out into the wild to capture scenes of deer and rabbits in their natural habitat.

The results speak for themselves. Compared to earlier animation, Bambi was groundbreaking in its realism.

This story perfectly highlights one of Disney’s pioneering ideas – something he called “plussing”.

When he talked to his imagineers or employees about their projects, he would often tell them to “plus it.”

They knew what he meant; he was asking them to take their ideas or plans to the next level. He knew there was always another notch to move up in order to turn something good into something excellent.

Disney successfully used this idea repeatedly throughout his career. Walt plussed everything from his animation to customer service and even his theme park rides.

With the help of “plussing” Disney created a multi-billion dollar company known for its quality and pursuit of excellence.

There’s an inspiring lesson in Disney’s idea of “plussing”. His constant search for improvement and betterment is something we can all learn from. What if we used it in our everyday lives?

So what exactly does “plussing” mean?

Make Good Details Into Great Ones

One important part of “plussing” was placing a high importance on details.

On many rides, he would spend hours optimizing the tiniest sound effects. On another ride, a mahjong game was set up at the beginning. Rather than have the tiles spread out haphazardly, he hired actual players to play a game and stop half way so it looked authentic.

Any project Disney worked on might have hundreds or thousands of small details to oversee. He knew that an improvement to one wouldn’t mean much, but improving a thousand would mean a huge difference.

Take a look at this graph to see what a 1% improvement to thousands of small details does over time.

Details Matter

Details matter simply because there are so many of them. By taking time to improve as many as possible, Disney would bring out the excellence in any project.

Disney animators even came up with a term for this obsession to details which they called “bumping the lamp.”

It refers to a scene in Who Framed Roger Rabbit (watch it, it’s such a small detail, but makes the scene better) when Roger is bouncing around and interacting with the live objects. The lamp in the scene is constantly bumping and swaying even between cuts.

It was time consuming to keep the continuity of this lamp swinging correctly between shots and hardly anyone in the audience would notice if it wasn’t right, but this detail – along with the other amazing details in the movie – add up to a unique and wonderful experience.

People usually forget about details since they can be easily ignored. But if you think about it, there is a lot of power in them.

For example, imagine plussing your workouts. There are countless small details with your routine, nutrition or form to make slight improvements. Even the smallest improvement to every detail would benefit your workouts dramatically.

Even recently I’ve been plussing my website by focusing on the details – most of them are things people would never notice – such as font size, font type and deleting unnecessary parts to make the reader experience more enjoyable.

Each small change doesn’t mean much alone, but they’ve all added up to a noticeable difference. People are staying longer and more readers are subscribing.

Go Above and Beyond Expectations

Another key component to Walt Disney’s “plussing” is exceeding expectations.

Shortly after Walt Disney opened his theme park, he decided to hold a Christmas parade. When he totaled up the expense, he realized his idea and vision would cost the park roughly $350,000.

His accountants begged him not to spend the money because the people would already be there; nobody would complain if it didn’t happen because no one was expecting it.

Disney’s response was,

“We should do it precisely because no one’s expecting it. Our goal at Disneyland is to always give people more than they expect. As long as we keep surprising them, they’ll keep coming back. But if they ever stop coming, it’ll cost us ten times that much to get them to come back”

Here’s the major takeaway from this story: always do more than what’s expected from everyone, including yourself.

If you think about it, meeting expectations means doing the bare minimum. Isn’t the bare minimum another way of saying mediocrity?

Look for ways to go above and beyond by doing what’s NOT expected of you. Just doing that little more can make all the difference between average and outstanding.

If you want a project to get noticed, do more than what’s expected.

For a better chance of getting a promotion at work, you have to go above and beyond your normal duties.

If you want to build muscle in the gym, you have to work harder than normal.

Sometimes it can be something simple.

A few nights ago, I spent a romantic evening with my wife. Instead of doing our usual routine, I “plussed it” by darkening the room and lighting candles.

She wasn’t expecting it and she had no reason to think I’d do it. But that small addition made an otherwise typical romantic evening into something more magical. It actually brightened her day more than I possibly could have imagined.

Plus Everything

I’ve been using Disney’s ideas about “plussing” to improve as many things in my life as possible.

When you keep making small improvements here and there, you start to realize just how much more you could be doing.  There’s always something more to improve to take you beyond what you were doing before.

“Plussing” is just as much a philosophy as it is a mindset.  When you start to see all the improvements you could be making, you start to think and act in ways that will “plus it.”  As Disney once said, “Just do your best work – then try to trump it.”
photo credit: Andy Castro

Your Beautiful Life Will Expand When You Eliminate the Excess

Steve Bloom 20 Comments

Eliminate the Excess

For many people, a good life is about more.

More stuff. More things to do. More friends. More of everything.

For me, a good life is about less.

I moved from a big house into a small apartment. In the process, I donated or threw away many of the things I owned. I even donated my car – my wife and I just share one together.

I’ve cut out a lot of media. Other than a few shows, I don’t watch any cable TV. I’ve tried to cut time spent on my smartphone, especially to check Twitter and email. I deleted my Facebook app completely so I rarely check it.

This year I’ve even experimented with cutting out alcohol; I haven’t had a single drop since the beginning of the year – I actually really love it and I’m considering making this a permanent change.

But it’s more than that.

I’ve cleared my mind of negative thinking and excuses (I’m working on complaining).

I’ve also cut toxic friends out of my life. Some have been friends for years which made it quite a difficult decision despite their negativity and destructive behavior.

Each step of the way, I made a conscious effort to cut out something that no longer fit what I wanted my life to be about.

The funny thing is that as I’ve continued to make these cuts, I’ve noticed quite the paradox:

The more things I cut out of my life, the bigger and grander it becomes.

If Less Is More Than More Is Less

Our lives are essentially built around limitations.

  • There are only so many things we can focus our attention on.
  • Our mental capacity and information-processing is limited.
  • We have a limited amount of tasks we can do every day.
  • Our discipline and willpower isn’t endless.
  • Then there’s time: we only get 24 hours a day – no matter what.

I’ve started to treat these limitations as they should be: valuable resources. If something is wasting one of them, I want to cut it out.

If it doesn’t improve life and isn’t important in some way, it just takes up valuable energy or time as excess – that’s space you could be using on something that truly matters.

Think of it this way.

Your life is like a cup of water. You can keep filling it up and up as much as you want, but eventually it will start to overflow. Whether it’s time, energy or focus, eventually your limits come into play and you can’t add any more to the cup – something will spill over and get lost in the process.

By trying to fill your cup with more, you’ll actually end up spilling some off the sides and getting less.

The trick is to look at the contents of the cup directly. Is all the water in there necessary?

Some of it might be dirty or tainted (things like negative thinking or toxic friends)

Some of it might be easily taken out to make room (time-wasting activities and tasks)

Some of it might be another liquid other than water (unnecessary distractions like checking email and Facebook or general clutter around the house)

Little by little, the excess water is taken out to make room. The cup can’t get larger, but you can make it seem larger simply by getting rid of the excess.

A Life Weighed Down With Excess

Some of the most successful people on the planet have already been adopting this idea of getting rid of excess to get more out of life.

For example, Mark Zuckerberg, Steve Jobs, Barack Obama and Einstein all cut down their wardrobe to one or two outfits so they had one less decision to make every day. Einstein argued that his brainpower and focus would be better spent elsewhere.

As it turns out, our decision-making ability can be weakened in a process known as “decision fatigue”. We may start off making good decisions, but if you make too many, you start to get bad at it. By cutting out excess decisions such as what to wear, you increase your ability to make better ones elsewhere..

It’s for this same reason that successful lawyers and businessmen delegate tasks to junior associates. They want to get rid of the excess tasks so they can focus their valuable time and energy on the things that matter most.

You Decide What Excess Is

Don’t get me wrong about this post. I’m not advocating that you should move out of your home or eliminate alcohol or TV. Just because these are things that I don’t want anymore, doesn’t mean that you don’t want them.

The point of this post is to get you thinking about what you’re filling your life with and deciding if it’s excess that could be eliminated. Start asking these questions:

Are there some things I can cut out to make room for the life I want?

What low-value tasks or activities are taking up my time that I can eliminate?

Are there toxic friends or thoughts I could get rid of?

What you decide is excess is up to you.

But by filling our lives with unnecessary busy-ness, distractions, tasks and clutter, we’re expending too much of our personal resources. That’s space we could be using to live the lives we actually want.

The best part about it is that by getting rid of the excess, you’ll find a renewed focus to your life. There will be more time and energy to spend on the things that matter most to you.

Many of us are already living a good life, but it’s covered up with a lot of unnecessary junk. By getting rid of the excess, you allow the life you want to expand.
photo credit: Chechi Peinado

7 Life Lessons from the Man Who Saved Over One Billion Lives

Steve Bloom 16 Comments

Norman Borlaug - The Man Who Saved One Billion Lives

Chances are that you’re not familiar with Norman Borlaug. He doesn’t have the household name of a famous movie star or pop singer, but, by the time he died in 2009, he was credited with saving the lives of over one billion people.

It all started so simply. In 1944 he moved to Mexico to work on a joint U.S.-Mexico agricultural program. A plant disease called “stem rust” was ravaging wheat fields; food was in short supply and the country was one crisis away from mass starvation.

Working tirelessly on the problem for ten years, he finally found a wheat strain that both resisted the disease and increased yields. His efforts dramatically increased wheat production, protecting millions of people from slowly dying of hunger.

But Norman Borlaug wasn’t finished.

He took his work to the Indian subcontinent where widespread famine was becoming a massive problem. In 1943 alone, the worst year, famine killed up to 4 million people in Bengal province.

But after just five years, he nearly doubled wheat yields in Pakistan and India, building their self-sufficiency in food. Later, Dr. Borlaug applied this same knowledge to rice in China and eventually a variety of crops across Africa.

For his efforts to end starvation, eliminate food insecurity and bring about world peace, Norman Borlaug was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1970. He’s been widely credited with saving more lives than any other person who has ever lived.

His story is a powerful reminder of the positive change one person can make; it never ceases to amaze and motivate me to become a better person. By observing his life and achievements, I’ve discovered many invaluable lessons from this truly inspiring man.

1. Just because a problem or goal doesn’t seem to have a solution, doesn’t mean there isn’t one

Initially, Dr. Borlaug’s problem was clear: more food needed to be grown to prevent mass starvation. The solution, however, was far from obvious, requiring ten years and over 6000 attempts to finally resolve the major issues.

Imagine working for that length of time, never knowing when (or if) you’ll reach the finish line. Day after day, you keep persevering, relying on belief and tenacity to push you forward.

Intractable problems and far-off goals are often ignored simply because there doesn’t seem to be a solution or end in sight. People tend to work on things they KNOW will work out.

But an unwillingness to pursue difficult goals and problems will only limit your true potential. It’s important to have faith in yourself that somehow you’ll find a way to the end. If Dr. Borlaug has shown anything, it’s that tenacity, effort and self-trust can work wonders..

2. Impossible is a only a problem for people with little imagination

What Dr. Borlaug did wasn’t just incredible, in some cases what he did was considered impossible. This is especially true of his farming strategy called “shuttle breeding”.

It’s a process whereby farmers would shuttle plants between themselves around the country to take advantage of the changing growing season. Instead of growing just one crop a year, every farmer could grow two.

When he proposed this idea to his colleagues, they shot it down as unrealistic; it defied the conventional understanding of agronomy. But he persevered anyway and pushed on, alone if necessary. Eventually he implemented a successful pilot program which confounded and astonished many of his contemporaries.

Most of us tend to see “impossible” as a fixed concept. But it actually changes and varies based upon new information and ways of thinking. Dr. Borlaug’s ideas contradicted the general principles of agronomy only because he thought of the problem in a new way that hadn’t been considered before.

“Impossible” is just another obstacle on the road to success. Those who do great things realize that “impossible” is often just an excuse for those unwilling to take on new challenges. With enough imagination and creativity, more and more of what we think is impossible will eventually be revealed for what it is: an illusion.

3. Closed opportunities can open up if you just keep persevering

“No” was a word Norman Borlaug heard most of his life. He heard it while proposing his idea of “seed shuttling”. He heard it when he wanted to expand his wheat program to all of Mexico. India and Pakistan, suspicious of his motivation, said no to him for years before finally letting him in.

Through it all, Dr. Borlaug never treated “no” as a final answer. Instead he looked at it as another challenge or obstacle to overcome. To him, “no” meant “not yet”. He knew that with enough persistence and effort, he would eventually succeed.

Here’s the lesson we can all learn: don’t treat no as a final answer. Situations change, people change, policies change – everything changes with time. Dedication and persistence to an idea or goal is what separates the successful from others. If it’s important enough for you, keep pushing on – because you never know when a “no” can change into a “yes” later on.

4. Greatness can come from anywhere and anyone

Who would have guessed that the solution to one of the world’s major problems would primarily come from one man? Out of the billions of people on the planet, one person rose to meet this seemingly insurmountable challenge – and won.

If his story proves anything, it’s that one person can make a powerful difference and do amazing things. With enough tenacity, drive and focus, we can all rise above our normal capabilities and achieve something astounding.

Don’t hold yourself back for any reason. Rather than settling for mediocrity and giving in to the idea of limitation, we should all strive for something greater. With focused energy and enough courage, fortitude and discipline, there’s no telling what you can accomplish.

5. One good action can have a million positive outcomes

When you consider how vast and complicated the world is, one good deed doesn’t seem to mean much.

But Norman Borlaug’s life epitomizes the concept of the “butterfly effect”. Just like the flapping of a butterfly’s wings can subtly change conditions until they become something much larger like a hurricane, our actions can have a similar effect.

Even if we fail to immediately perceive the effects of our behavior, our actions can subtly change our environment leading to bigger and bigger changes around us. One random act of kindness can make another person feel so good that they do one in turn. And so on and so on until your one act of kindness has impacted several lives around you.

Now imagine how many people’s lives you would impact with a lifetime of good deeds.

Dr. Borlaug’s beginnings were humble. At first, he was so determined to help that he even strapped on a plough in a field to work amongst Mexican farmers. But slowly, after a lifetime working for the good of others, he saved over one billion lives and made a positive difference in millions of others.

It didn’t happen overnight. Each good deed accumulated throughout the entire course of his life until one day he positively impacted the lives of about one in seven people around the planet.

This should give us pause to wonder: What good actions are you putting out into the world?

6. Selflessly working for others can lead you to an amazing life

Dr. Borlaug is only one of seven people to win the Nobel Peace Prize, the Presidential Medal of Freedom and Congressional Gold Medal. The others are Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Elie Wiesel, Nelson Mandela, Aung San Suu Kyi, Mother Teresa and (most recently) Muhammad Yunus.

Out of the entire list, Dr. Borlaug is arguably the least well-known. And that’s probably not surprising considering he didn’t work for fame or money. He simply saw people suffering and did what he felt was necessary to stop it.

It’s interesting to note that selflessly working for the good of others is a common theme amongst all seven people. Every one in that group were visionaries who dreamed of a better world and worked tirelessly to make it happen.

A noble, fulfilling life is one in which we give selflessly to others. We should all be looking for ways to make the world a better place – not for our own enrichment, but for the enrichment of others.

7. Remarkable actions bring out critics, doubters and liars every step of the way

Dr. Borlaug often considered his biggest obstacle to be, in his own words, “the constant pessimism and scare-mongering of skeptics.”

It wasn’t the endless research, the harsh living conditions or funding difficulties, but the endless stream of critics and naysayers who challenged him at every step.

Many critics claimed his work was futile; starvation was inevitable. Others dubiously asserted that poor rural farmers preferred their low living standards. Some of his harshest opponents even went as far as to sabotage and spread misinformation about his work.

As dark as it may seem, his experience says a lot about human nature. Our choices – whether to tackle challenging problems or make radical changes – is bound to bring out critics.

This will be true of anything remarkable you decide to accomplish. You’ll hear from more critics than supporters. Those who disagree most will speak loudest.

Their opposition will be the hardest obstacle. But if Norman Borlaug taught anything, it’s that those who succeed find a way to keep moving forward despite the negativity and pessimism. Sometimes the best way to silence your critics is through success.