Motivation

Steve Jobs: How to Follow Your Passion and Change the World

Steve Bloom 3 Comments

Follow Your Passion and Change the World

When Steve Jobs returned to Apple after a 12-year absence, the company was facing a crisis. Quickly running out of cash and close to bankruptcy, Jobs explained his plan to get the company going again.

“Apple is not about making boxes for people to get their jobs done, although we do that well. Apple is about something more. Its core value is that we believe that people with passion can change the world for the better.”

When Jobs said people with passion can change the world, he meant it; it’s a philosophy he lived by and helped shape some of his biggest accomplishments. Looking closely at how he incorporated this philosophy into his life, we can learn a lot of important lessons.

It starts at Reed College where Jobs went to school. He soon discovered that he disliked most of the required courses; so rather than take classes he wasn’t interested in, he dropped out.

But he didn’t stop studying. He arranged with the dean to attend the classes he wanted, just without college credit. This allowed him to continue working on the subjects he was most passionate about.

This reveals the first major point about passion.

#1 – Passion is work that you enjoy

“The only way to do great work is to love what you do.” – Steve Jobs

Most people think of school as work, which it is. But people like Steve Jobs find work enjoyable.

If you don’t enjoy what you’re doing, you’re more likely to quit. It’s hard to keep working on something you don’t like.

The flipside is important too. If you’re not willing to put in the work, no amount of love will get you anywhere.

Both work and enjoyment are essential.

“If you don’t love it, if you’re not having fun doing it…you’re going to give up. And that’s what happens to most people, actually.”

In college, Steve Jobs was still figuring himself out. It wasn’t necessary to be focusing on something important; what mattered more was that he found the love for work.

This is important because once you learn that work can be fun, you can take this mindset with you to other areas of your life, especially once you spot an opportunity.

For Steve Jobs, that opportunity was computers.

And this leads into the next major point.

#2 – Follow your passions that solve problems

“Basically Steve Wozniak and I invented the Apple because…[we] couldn’t afford the computers that were on the market, those computers were impractical for us to use. We needed a Volkwswagen. The Volkswagen isn’t as fast or comfortable as other ways of traveling, but the VW owners can go where they want when they want and with whom they want.”

Steve Jobs was passionate about computers, but he noticed how impractical and poorly designed they were. So he decided to focus this passion into building something much better than anything else on the commercial market.

By focusing his passion on solving a problem, he eventually upended an entire industry and changed the way the world looked at computing.

Following your passion is good, but following your passion to solve a problem is even better.

Steve Jobs worked on this problem mostly by himself out of his parents’ garage, building computer parts and overcoming design problems to build something people wanted to buy.

People were skeptical. Neighbors thought he was odd and dismissed his ideas as a joke. They would never have imagined his future success.

This leads to the next point.

#3 – To be passionate, you need faith in your abilities

“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backward. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.” – Steve Jobs

When you’re working on something big like starting a business or writing a novel, you need dedication to see it to the end. The future is unknown so when you’re working on problems it’s important to have faith that somehow you’ll find solutions.

For a long time, Steve Jobs was the only one who believed in himself. Even his friend Steve Wozniak only helped out here and there until the business started really growing.

Eventually his design ideas started to come together and they released their first model: the Apple I. From there, his company grew and grew until it became the titan of the electronics world that it is today.

But the lesson remains true: passionate people put faith in themselves. The dots never connect looking forward, only backward.

After many years of success, Apple became a huge company employing a lot of people. But after a few inside squabbles, Jobs suddenly left after a dispute with the board of directors.

Distraught and disappointed, he initially struggled with the idea of what to do next. He flirted with the idea of becoming an astronaut or getting into politics. But he decided to stick with what he loved to do, only this time he’d have to start from the beginning.

This proved to be a major turning point in his life and leads to the next big lesson.

#4 – Look for ways to reinvent yourself and start over

“I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.”

After he left Apple, Jobs started a new computer company called NeXT and financed a new film company called Pixar which would go on to reshape animated films for decades (and made one of my favorite films of recent years Inside Out).

When Apple bought NeXT in 1997, Jobs returned to the company he created. This is when he unleashed some of his most important devices: the iPhone, iPad, iPod, Apps, the iTunes store.

And he credits this creative boom to starting over again as a beginner.

Starting over as a beginner was good because it got rid of entrenched thinking.

Being successful and knowledgeable can sometimes be a little bit of a curse. The minute you think you have something all figured out, you stop looking for new possibilities. You’re less open to new paths.

By starting over again, Jobs got back that beginner’s mindset. He was unsure of how to proceed and had to relearn everything all over again. Rather than be held back with preconceptions, limitations or faulty assumptions, he was open to anything.

It was this “beginner’s mindset” that helped him get rid of limited thinking and opened his mind to new possibilities.

One More Thing…

When Steve Jobs gave speeches, he would famously add extra information at the end by saying the phrase “one more thing…” Well, here’s one more thing.

“You’ve got to put something back into the flow of history that’s going to help your community, help other people…so that 20, 30, 40 years from now…people will say, this person didn’t just have a passion, he cared about making something that other people could benefit from.”

This, I think, is the ultimate lesson. When people look for something to be passionate about, they often look for what the world can offer them. Instead, we should be looking for what we can offer the world. Find a way to be passionate that helps and benefits others – that’s how passionate people change the world.

This Powerful Mindset Helped John Steinbeck Write His Greatest Novels

Steve Bloom 2 Comments

JohnSteinbeck

During John Steinbeck’s long career as a writer, he created some of the most beloved and acclaimed works in literature including such masterpieces as Of Mice and Men, East of Eden and The Pearl.

I’ve always been fascinated by his work so last year I set a goal to read every book published under his name – 27 in total. I wanted to see if I could glean some understanding into what made him so prolific and memorable.

Well, I finished reading every book and I feel like I gained an insight into how he approached his work. In one of his writing journals, he made a remarkable statement about his writing that I feel we could all learn from:

“…no one else knows my lack of ability the way I do. I am pushing against it all the time. Sometimes, I seem to do a good little piece of work, but when it is done it slides into mediocrity.”

What makes this passage so incredible is that the book he was writing at the time, which he described as “mediocre”, was The Grapes of Wrath, often considered to be one of the greatest novels ever written.

When the book was released, it became an instant sensation, going on to sell 14 million copies. It’s the book that won him the Pulitzer Prize and the Nobel Prize for Literature.

Yet here in this excerpt, he describes his writing in it as mediocre.

Feel the Doubt and Just Keep Going

But the big takeaway from this quote isn’t that Steinbeck experienced doubt about his work. The key phrase in this quote is that he said he was “pushing against [his lack of ability] all the time.”

No matter how much he criticized his own work, he kept pushing forward.

No matter how much doubt he had about his abilities, he kept pushing against it to keep going.

This attitude is what separates the successful from the unsuccessful. Those who do the greatest work learn to push against their own self-doubts and fears. They don’t try NOT to feel them, they just keep moving forward despite all those feelings.

It’s important to learn to push against your feelings of self-doubt and fear because, as strange as it might seem, those feelings might be signs that you’re actually more capable than you realize.

When faced with a difficult task or goal, most people downplay their strengths and abilities. In psychology, it’s called the “Dunning-Kruger effect”.

In one research study into the effect, a group of students were asked to rate their ability to understand and interpret humor, grammar and logic. Then they were asked to take a test on those subjects.

The ones who scored best consistently underestimated their abilities and expressed the biggest doubt about their chances of success. This study has been repeated on a multitude of skills and abilities with the same results – those who doubted themselves the most, often did best.

It’s a paradox. Rather than making you more confident about your skills and abilities, being good at something might actually give you more fear and doubt. This is especially true when you’re pushing into new areas you haven’t tried yet.

And often, those doubts and fears don’t go away.

Take a look at Garth Brooks.

He’s one of the most successful recording artists of the twentieth century. He’s sold more than 190 million records, more than any other solo artist (except Elvis) and consistently sells out huge concert venues.

Yet, no matter how successful or beloved he becomes, he still gets incredibly nervous and scared before every performance.  Here’s what he said about it in an interview taken just over a year ago:

“I still get nervous. I hope there’s never a show where I don’t, but it’s more – the word now becomes ‘anxious’…The first night in Chicago, I looked over at [Trisha] Yearwood, and I said, ‘Are you scared?’ She said, ‘I’m scared to death.’ I said, ‘Me too.’”

He gets scared to death before every performance.  Just like Steinbeck, he pushes against his doubts and fears all the time, but keeps moving forward.

These stories belie our general expectation about how things are supposed to go.

We think that more we push ourselves, the more confident we’ll get.

We think that fear and anxiety will decrease the more successful we become.

However this isn’t always true. Many of us are never going to fully overcome our feelings of self-doubt and fear. Facing those feelings every time is a part of the process.

Doing What You’re Capable of Doing

“Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one.” – Bruce Lee

Fortunately fear never prevents Garth Brooks from appearing on stage; and doubt didn’t stop Steinbeck from writing the Great American Novel.

They just faced up to the truth: the path to greatness doesn’t always get easier – you just get stronger.

Whenever you start to feel fear and doubt, just remember that some of the most successful people on the planet feel the exact same way.

Start using fear and doubt to push yourself to do even more.

Start seeing it as a sign that you’re more capable than you realize rather than as a sign of what you can’t do.

The minute you stop underestimating your abilities, the sooner you can start doing all those things you’re capable of doing. Then you’ll be one step closer to something Henry Ford once said:

“If we did all the things we were capable of, we would literally astound ourselves.”

7 Reasons to Do that Crazy Thing You’ve Always Wanted to Do

Steve Bloom 6 Comments

Do That Crazy Things You've Always Wanted to DoTwo of my friends are starting off on a grand journey soon. In a few weeks, they’re quitting their jobs and taking six months off to travel around the world. It took them years to save up the money, but they’ve finally earned enough to take the leap.

Some people have called their plans a little crazy. Yes, it’s a big risk, but I still think they’re making the right choice.

Sometimes you just have to do that thing you’ve always wanted to do.

I can sympathize with them; I’ve done some crazy things over the years too.

  • I started a blog with the goal to reach thousands of readers without first learning much about how blogging even works.
  • I traveled all the way to Casablanca, Morocco to teach at a school I’d never been to.
  • I spent a ton of money (almost all of my savings) on IVF which only offered a 50% chance of working.
  • I flew to Belize so I could swim with sharks in the open ocean.
  • I’ve started copying “The Great Gatsby” word for word into a Word doc because I heard Hunter S. Thompson did it to improve his writing.

They’re all things people thought were a little on the crazy side, but something inside of me just felt like my life would somehow be incomplete if I never got around to doing them.

I often hear from people who have that same urge to pursue a long-held goal, but can’t find any good reason to start. It’s as if they’re looking for that one specific reason that will justify their decision.

I’ve never had a tough time coming up with some good reasons. Here are some of the best ones.

1. You only have one life to make it happen – do it or live with the regret

To me, living a good life is about minimizing the chance of regret. I don’t want to reach the end and look back only to wonder what might have been.

No matter what goal you have, there will be reasons not to do it – the fears and doubts holding you back or the excuses you give to quit.

But when you reach the end of your life, all those reasons will pale in comparison to the sharp pang of regret.

Here’s the truth: your life is ending one day at a time. Everything you ever want to do has to take place in the brief existence you’re given to live.

When you take a close look at your options, there should be little room for anything but taking action. Even if it turns out badly, I’d do it – I at least tried to make it happen.

As John Green once said, “What’s the point of being alive if you don’t at least try to do something remarkable?”

2. It will make you happy

Just knowing that you had the courage to do something crazy is life-affirming. It can fill you with a sense of accomplishment that few other activities can.

When your goal or project is finished, you’ll have the rest of your life to look back on it with a newfound sense of satisfaction and fulfillment. You made it happen. Few things give you the same sense of pride as the knowledge that you faced down all your obstacles and took a chance.

3. Do it for no specific reason at all

When George Mallory made his attempt to be the first person to climb Mt. Everest, a reporter asked him why he wanted to do it. He famously replied, “Because it’s there.”

Weirdly enough, this is sometimes the only reason you need.

I like to think rationally through all my decisions, but sometimes you just have to throw it all out the window and do it “just because.”

Sometimes the task or project itself can provide all the meaning you need. It can be enough to do something crazy simply because it gives us a sense of purpose and direction.

4. You never know what good things will happen

It’s amazing how often taking action can open up opportunities you never realized were there.

When you’re on the verge of doing something new, the uncertainty surrounding it can be frightening; you don’t know what will happen.

But there’s a positive side to uncertainty. It also clouds all the new paths that might be waiting for you.

Amazing things can happen when you put yourself out there. The experience you gain from it might introduce you to a new idea, person or thought that leads your life down an unexpected, wonderful path you never knew existed.

5. You’ll grow more as a person than you can imagine

Doing something crazy can seem daunting. There might be organizational issues or time management to contend with, not to mention any external or internal obstacles.

But with each step you take to make it happen, you learn and grow as a person.

Overcoming obstacles builds knowledge and confidence. Each fear and doubt you shake off builds a tough mental attitude.

Growth occurs from challenges. When you tackle more than you’re used to, you’ll become so much more than you’ve ever known.

6. Passionately pursuing it will make you feel alive

Every one of my crazy goals has been a labor of passion. Passion is what sustains me and keeps me moving and working on a project – it’s what makes me excited and feel alive.

When you set a crazy goal that is uniquely your own, you don’t feel like you have to work on it, you get to work on it – a huge difference.

Immersing yourself in something you love to do is good for the spirit as well as the mind. You wake up looking forward to what the new day is about to bring – and that feeling is priceless.

Do it because the thought of it excites you. Do it because it consumes your time and thoughts. When you fill your life with something you’re passionate about, it can feel so enriching and fulfilling.

7. It’s freeing – you start to wonder what else you’re capable of doing

There comes a moment right after you finish a goal or project – something crazy you never thought you could do.

After it’s all done, you look back on everything you thought was holding you back – the fears, doubts and excuses. What once seemed so real now only seems insubstantial and out of touch with reality. All those reasons holding you back might even seem silly with what you know now.

Then a magical thing happens. Your mind drifts to other thoughts – other crazy dreams and aspirations. There’s an assortment of fears, doubts and excuses with them too – only now your view of them has changed, they don’t seem as real or formidable.

Every time you finish something you once thought was impossible, you strengthen the idea that you’re capable of more than you know.

Instead of seeing limitations and barriers, the world becomes open and free. Instead of telling yourself you can’t do something, you start to understand your autonomy and self-determination.

Eventually you start to realize that there’s less holding you back than once thought – and that’s an incredibly freeing idea.
photo credit: Alex Indigo

7 Life Lessons from the Man Who Saved Over One Billion Lives

Steve Bloom 16 Comments

Norman Borlaug - The Man Who Saved One Billion Lives

Chances are that you’re not familiar with Norman Borlaug. He doesn’t have the household name of a famous movie star or pop singer, but, by the time he died in 2009, he was credited with saving the lives of over one billion people.

It all started so simply. In 1944 he moved to Mexico to work on a joint U.S.-Mexico agricultural program. A plant disease called “stem rust” was ravaging wheat fields; food was in short supply and the country was one crisis away from mass starvation.

Working tirelessly on the problem for ten years, he finally found a wheat strain that both resisted the disease and increased yields. His efforts dramatically increased wheat production, protecting millions of people from slowly dying of hunger.

But Norman Borlaug wasn’t finished.

He took his work to the Indian subcontinent where widespread famine was becoming a massive problem. In 1943 alone, the worst year, famine killed up to 4 million people in Bengal province.

But after just five years, he nearly doubled wheat yields in Pakistan and India, building their self-sufficiency in food. Later, Dr. Borlaug applied this same knowledge to rice in China and eventually a variety of crops across Africa.

For his efforts to end starvation, eliminate food insecurity and bring about world peace, Norman Borlaug was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1970. He’s been widely credited with saving more lives than any other person who has ever lived.

His story is a powerful reminder of the positive change one person can make; it never ceases to amaze and motivate me to become a better person. By observing his life and achievements, I’ve discovered many invaluable lessons from this truly inspiring man.

1. Just because a problem or goal doesn’t seem to have a solution, doesn’t mean there isn’t one

Initially, Dr. Borlaug’s problem was clear: more food needed to be grown to prevent mass starvation. The solution, however, was far from obvious, requiring ten years and over 6000 attempts to finally resolve the major issues.

Imagine working for that length of time, never knowing when (or if) you’ll reach the finish line. Day after day, you keep persevering, relying on belief and tenacity to push you forward.

Intractable problems and far-off goals are often ignored simply because there doesn’t seem to be a solution or end in sight. People tend to work on things they KNOW will work out.

But an unwillingness to pursue difficult goals and problems will only limit your true potential. It’s important to have faith in yourself that somehow you’ll find a way to the end. If Dr. Borlaug has shown anything, it’s that tenacity, effort and self-trust can work wonders..

2. Impossible is a only a problem for people with little imagination

What Dr. Borlaug did wasn’t just incredible, in some cases what he did was considered impossible. This is especially true of his farming strategy called “shuttle breeding”.

It’s a process whereby farmers would shuttle plants between themselves around the country to take advantage of the changing growing season. Instead of growing just one crop a year, every farmer could grow two.

When he proposed this idea to his colleagues, they shot it down as unrealistic; it defied the conventional understanding of agronomy. But he persevered anyway and pushed on, alone if necessary. Eventually he implemented a successful pilot program which confounded and astonished many of his contemporaries.

Most of us tend to see “impossible” as a fixed concept. But it actually changes and varies based upon new information and ways of thinking. Dr. Borlaug’s ideas contradicted the general principles of agronomy only because he thought of the problem in a new way that hadn’t been considered before.

“Impossible” is just another obstacle on the road to success. Those who do great things realize that “impossible” is often just an excuse for those unwilling to take on new challenges. With enough imagination and creativity, more and more of what we think is impossible will eventually be revealed for what it is: an illusion.

3. Closed opportunities can open up if you just keep persevering

“No” was a word Norman Borlaug heard most of his life. He heard it while proposing his idea of “seed shuttling”. He heard it when he wanted to expand his wheat program to all of Mexico. India and Pakistan, suspicious of his motivation, said no to him for years before finally letting him in.

Through it all, Dr. Borlaug never treated “no” as a final answer. Instead he looked at it as another challenge or obstacle to overcome. To him, “no” meant “not yet”. He knew that with enough persistence and effort, he would eventually succeed.

Here’s the lesson we can all learn: don’t treat no as a final answer. Situations change, people change, policies change – everything changes with time. Dedication and persistence to an idea or goal is what separates the successful from others. If it’s important enough for you, keep pushing on – because you never know when a “no” can change into a “yes” later on.

4. Greatness can come from anywhere and anyone

Who would have guessed that the solution to one of the world’s major problems would primarily come from one man? Out of the billions of people on the planet, one person rose to meet this seemingly insurmountable challenge – and won.

If his story proves anything, it’s that one person can make a powerful difference and do amazing things. With enough tenacity, drive and focus, we can all rise above our normal capabilities and achieve something astounding.

Don’t hold yourself back for any reason. Rather than settling for mediocrity and giving in to the idea of limitation, we should all strive for something greater. With focused energy and enough courage, fortitude and discipline, there’s no telling what you can accomplish.

5. One good action can have a million positive outcomes

When you consider how vast and complicated the world is, one good deed doesn’t seem to mean much.

But Norman Borlaug’s life epitomizes the concept of the “butterfly effect”. Just like the flapping of a butterfly’s wings can subtly change conditions until they become something much larger like a hurricane, our actions can have a similar effect.

Even if we fail to immediately perceive the effects of our behavior, our actions can subtly change our environment leading to bigger and bigger changes around us. One random act of kindness can make another person feel so good that they do one in turn. And so on and so on until your one act of kindness has impacted several lives around you.

Now imagine how many people’s lives you would impact with a lifetime of good deeds.

Dr. Borlaug’s beginnings were humble. At first, he was so determined to help that he even strapped on a plough in a field to work amongst Mexican farmers. But slowly, after a lifetime working for the good of others, he saved over one billion lives and made a positive difference in millions of others.

It didn’t happen overnight. Each good deed accumulated throughout the entire course of his life until one day he positively impacted the lives of about one in seven people around the planet.

This should give us pause to wonder: What good actions are you putting out into the world?

6. Selflessly working for others can lead you to an amazing life

Dr. Borlaug is only one of seven people to win the Nobel Peace Prize, the Presidential Medal of Freedom and Congressional Gold Medal. The others are Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Elie Wiesel, Nelson Mandela, Aung San Suu Kyi, Mother Teresa and (most recently) Muhammad Yunus.

Out of the entire list, Dr. Borlaug is arguably the least well-known. And that’s probably not surprising considering he didn’t work for fame or money. He simply saw people suffering and did what he felt was necessary to stop it.

It’s interesting to note that selflessly working for the good of others is a common theme amongst all seven people. Every one in that group were visionaries who dreamed of a better world and worked tirelessly to make it happen.

A noble, fulfilling life is one in which we give selflessly to others. We should all be looking for ways to make the world a better place – not for our own enrichment, but for the enrichment of others.

7. Remarkable actions bring out critics, doubters and liars every step of the way

Dr. Borlaug often considered his biggest obstacle to be, in his own words, “the constant pessimism and scare-mongering of skeptics.”

It wasn’t the endless research, the harsh living conditions or funding difficulties, but the endless stream of critics and naysayers who challenged him at every step.

Many critics claimed his work was futile; starvation was inevitable. Others dubiously asserted that poor rural farmers preferred their low living standards. Some of his harshest opponents even went as far as to sabotage and spread misinformation about his work.

As dark as it may seem, his experience says a lot about human nature. Our choices – whether to tackle challenging problems or make radical changes – is bound to bring out critics.

This will be true of anything remarkable you decide to accomplish. You’ll hear from more critics than supporters. Those who disagree most will speak loudest.

Their opposition will be the hardest obstacle. But if Norman Borlaug taught anything, it’s that those who succeed find a way to keep moving forward despite the negativity and pessimism. Sometimes the best way to silence your critics is through success.

10 Ways to Travel Endlessly Free Ebook Download

Steve Bloom 10 Comments

10 Ways to Travel Endlessly

One of the most popular posts I’ve ever written is “6 Ways to Travel Endlessly”. As of today, it’s been seen on Stumbleupon over 390,000 times and shared on Facebook and Twitter thousands more. It went so viral that, at one point, it brought in over 16,000 visitors to my site in a single day!

Not bad, considering that it was just the 10th post I wrote for this blog. At that time I think I had only a dozen or so subscribers.

To this day people still comment and share the information in it. And I’m glad so many people love it, because it took a lot of painstaking research and effort to put all the information together.

But I published that post over four years ago and I’ve started to notice how outdated much of the information is. Some of the resources aren’t as good as they once were. Other resources are still good, but in desperate need of updating to be of practical use. In addition, I’ve met lots of other travelers with much different ways to travel long-term.

So I rewrote it. After I finished, I realized it was far too long to be sent out as a blog post. So I spruced it up with some images, polished the look and turned it into a free great-looking pdf that you can download onto your computer or print off.

I’ve actually been advertising this ebook for a few months, but I just realized that I never actually made a formal announcement until now.

This ebook is exclusively available only to subscribers so you’ll need to sign up to the blog to get it. Just enter your email below to get instant access.


My email address is…


No Spam Gauranteed. Unsubscribe at any time.

If the signup form doesn’t appear, click here.

I hope you enjoy the ebook. I put a lot of work into this one – more so than the original. Whatever your travel plans happen to be, you’ll find some good information in here to help you get out there and see more of the world.

Thanks for subscribing,

Steve
photo credit: Wilerson S Andrade

8 Habits that Will Help You Live Life Without Regrets

Steve Bloom 31 Comments

Live Life Without Regrets

“Living a life with no mistakes and without any regrets is extraordinarily hard to accomplish. A lifetime of making choices brings with it the knowledge that at least some actions were ill-considered…To live, it seems is to accumulate at least some regrets.”

This excerpt comes from a fascinating study from Cornell University. After sifting through mountains of data, this report provides a lot of useful insights into how and why regrets occur.

Living life without regret is certainly difficult – chances are you already have one or two. But with the knowledge from this report, I’ve been able to devise a few simple habits to minimize them as much as possible.

It’s been said that regret is “an insight gained a day too late.”

For many of us, those insights come decades too late.

Instead of waiting to see what regrets await me, I’d rather take action now. Here are some ways to reduce those thoughts of “what might have been…”

1. Make time

“I don’t have enough time.” It’s a simple, common excuse, but can keep you away from realizing your biggest dreams to your smallest goals.

Even if you don’t think you have enough time, you have to learn to make it.

Take a lesson from John Grisham. While writing his first novel, he worked 60-70 hours a week, using any time in the morning or during courtroom recess he could find.

By most people’s measures, Grisham had no time whatsoever to write a novel. But by fitting his writing in whenever he could, he found enough to launch his writing career.

Find time to do those things you want – otherwise, you’ll miss out on some important goals.

2. Do the things that push your potential to be everything you can be

When people talk about regrets, they often mention the actions they wish they had done. But it’s more specific than that. It’s not just actions, it’s fulfilling actions that matter most.

If you look at regrets closely, a common theme emerges – the failure to reach our full potential.

Abraham Maslow described it as self-actualization – the realization or fulfillment of one’s talents and becoming all you can be.

Think about some ways people express regret.

“What would have happened if I had just tried harder in school?”

“What if I had developed my artistic skills?”

People often regret unrealized potential – the unexplored skills or wasted opportunities for personal development. It’s important to find something meaningful and fulfilling that can challenge you and make you grow as a person.

3. Live by these words: “It’s better to try and fail than fail at trying”

Imagine putting all your effort into achieving a massive goal, but you fail to make it happen.

Now imagine a second person who has the same exact aspirations but never even tries. They don’t even take the first step because they can’t find the courage.

Despite failing, you’re still leaps and bounds ahead of the second person. You tried. That’s something you can feel proud about for the rest of your life. The other person can only wonder “what if…”

4. Listen to your “shoulds”

The Cornell study highlighted that it’s the things we should have done that are often the ones that we regret the most.

“I should have studied more in college.”

“I should have told my father that I loved him before he died.”

“I should have traveled more.”

“I should have tried writing a book.”

Think about it for a minute. Years from this moment, what will you say you should be doing right now? Reflect on the answers until you understand all the “shoulds” you have floating around in your head.

Simply put, do this:

Step 1: Ask yourself: “What is something important I should be doing right now?”
Step 2: Go do it.

5. Use unhappiness as a mentor and guide

I don’t see unhappiness as a completely negative emotion. Sure, it’s not a pleasant feeling, but it serves a useful purpose.

Sadness is a signal that something in your life needs to change. Think of it as a signpost telling you that you’re heading in the wrong direction. Listen to it. Learn from it. If you completely ignore or avoid it, you’re missing out on an opportunity to make positive changes and get on the path that’s right for you.

6. Act on your impulses more often

As the Cornell study highlighted, it’s the actions we didn’t do that we most regret. But what keeps us away from taking action to begin with?

Psychologically, we put more emphasis on immediate consequences more than long-term ones. For example, someone will stay in a job they hate far too long simply to avoid the short term pain of quitting. Of course, when they’re still in that job years later, they regret not having quit sooner.

One way to get around this obstacle is to act on your impulses. Get into the habit of making quick decisions and immediately doing them..

The longer you wait to take action, the more you start to focus on the short-term consequences rather than the long-term benefits. In a sense, you talk yourself out of doing it.

With each minute you wait, your will to act weakens. Then you just put off a decision you wish you’d made sooner.

7. Find the silver lining to bad decisions

If you’ve ever made a mistake, then congratulations – you’re human. With all the decisions and choices we face, we’re bound to do or say something we wish we hadn’t.

Rather than seeing those bad decisions as something to forget, you can use them to move into a better future. See each bad decision as an opportunity to learn and grow wiser. If you can use the bad decisions from your past to make you a better person today, you’ll feel better about them and they’ll have served a useful purpose.

8. Spend more time on love and relationships

According to another study from Northwestern University, the most frequently mentioned topics of regret are about romance and relationships.

More than any other topic – including education, work, travel, money issues and health. Love and relationships (especially family relationships) were listed more than any other.

Both romance and relationships highlight the importance of the people we hold closely in our lives. Most people in the survey regretted a lost love connection or a family squabble or a time they were unkind to a family member.

This is a great reminder to cherish the people around us – the people who give our lives meaning and joy. By building stronger and closer bonds with our loved ones, we can help avoid any possible regrets of things that might go wrong.
photo credit: Thomas Hawk

3 Ridiculously Simple Rules to Get Into the Best Shape of Your Life

Steve Bloom 18 Comments

Rules to Get Into the Best Shape of Your Life

Have you ever asked one of those big weightlifters in the gym for advice on how to get into shape? I have. They often go on long tangents describing specific workouts they do and talk on and on about what foods to eat and supplements to take. It’s all extremely detailed and unwieldy information.

It doesn’t need to be that complex.  Unless you’re a fitness fanatic, you don’t need to sort through all this information. Getting into shape doesn’t require you to know the latest supplements or the difference between a sumo and Romanian dead-lift.

I like to keep things simple. My rules for getting into great shape are about as stripped down and basic as you can get. I’m very disciplined at what I do, but I don’t try to over-complicate it.

My results speak for themselves. I’m only 5’11”, but I weigh almost 200 pounds with barely any fat on me (no six pack, but I have a four pack going on) – and I only work out about two to three hours a week.

What I do is simple.  So simple, in fact, that there are only three “must follow” rules.  These are what need to be done before you begin thinking about the more complex parts of working out.

1. Set three specific times a week for the gym and consistently go

This is the most important rule of the three I list here. You must do this before seeing any results whatsoever.  There’s no way to get around it.

Feel tired? Go anyway. Not enough time? Make time.

Spread the three days throughout the week to give yourself some time for rest in between each session.  I tend to spend each day working out a particular area of my body (back, legs and upper body), but you might decide to do it differently.

And don’t just randomly set times, be specific about when to go and stick to it.  You should get to a point when a specific time such as Monday at 5PM=”gym time”.

By setting specific days and times, you’ll make it a part of your routine.  The trick is to get to a point when it becomes something you automatically do – not something you have to keep reminding yourself about. Keep in mind that it doesn’t need to take much time, I usually workout only 30-45 minutes a session.

If you build momentum and consistently fit it in, you’ll find yourself going more and more. The more you go, the more likely you are to go again.

2. Work your butt off

A lot of people go into specific details on how much weight to lift or how many reps to do. Some guys keep detailed journals about their workouts.

Honestly, I don’t care about any of that.

All you should be concerned about is that you’re pushing yourself. Just work out and lift weights until you can’t do any more. That might mean working out for an hour or maybe only 30 minutes.  Just go until your muscles are tired.

(Sidenote: women should lift weights too. After my wife started lifting weights, she got into better shape than she’s ever been – and she didn’t get too big or have huge muscles like a guy or anything like that. If you’re still not convinced, read this.)

The trouble with most people is their focus on lifting heavier weights.  Instead of doing that, I look into what will get me into better shape.  If I can do that with less weight, I will.  But usually I just do a mix of heavier weights with fewer reps and vice versa until I give my muscles a good workout.

So how do you know if you’re working your butt off? Here are two signs you’re doing it right.

The first is this: immediately after your workout, you should feel tired and slightly sleepy. If you’re yawning, that’s a good sign.

The second is that your muscles should be sore the next day or two. If they aren’t sore, you’re not doing enough. Do more.

3. Make meals at home and eat out only once a week (preferably less)

People get some hardcore advice on the subject of food. They’re told that eating healthy means consuming only raw vegetables, fruits, whole grains and avoiding bad fats while eating good fats and when to eat simple or complex carbohydrates.

Making it this complex is confusing. It seems too strict for anyone other than the most devoted health nuts.

Here’s my simpler solution: eat out only once a week.

That includes fast food, restaurants and anything related to eating out. That goes for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

You hear a lot about how bad fast food is for you, but restaurant meals can be just as bad – or even worse. Even the so call “health options” in restaurants can be bad for you.

According to a study from an American Cancer Society researcher, people who eat out (both restaurants and fast food) consume 200 extra calories than eating at home and take in more saturated fat, sugar and salt. Foods in restaurants are more energy-dense and the portions are larger which means people eat more than they would otherwise.

Cook more food at home and make your own meals and you’ll eat much healthier. Even if they’re boxed meals at first.

And it doesn’t need to take much time either. My wife and I cook at home all the time and neither of us even like doing it. But we’ve found a wide variety of extremely simple and quick meals that take ten minutes or less.

One meal we occasionally do takes less than five. (microwave both a bag of mixed frozen vegetables and a can of pork and beans separately. Mix together and it’s surprisingly good.)

Cooking at home might seem time-consuming, but it actually saves time for us overall. Making these quick meals takes a lot less time than going out somewhere, ordering food and waiting to get it.

At first, eating at home so frequently can seem like a pain, but it gets much easier as you do it. Just that switch alone will help you eat healthier.
Photo credit: Louish Pixel